sucker-eriffic

ok... i suck as a blogger. hmm... no surprise to me. i am going to aim to do better though.

i'm very very very glad to be enjoying the day off today. everything in me and on me needs a break. and... its a rest day from running (so i'll ride my bike), but that means that my legs might, just might, start to feel a bit better. i didn't ice them overnight (like i have been), but that massage yesterday may have really helped. i had some soreness in my calves this a.m., but not that weird whatever-but-not-necessarily-pain feeling on / in the bone. fingers crossed!!

i have a paper to write for my family systems class that is giving me fits. its really hard to take your own family and write about its rules, communications, and how that impacts the members of the family (especially me). everytime i've started to write this paper, i've gotten angry and quit. its due next tuesday, though, so there can only be so much quitting between now and then. (i wonder if that's why i'm blogging now... after all this time... couldn't possibly be procrastination, could it?!?) why is it that family is so hard? is it that people are people and can't help but hurt or twist or rub one another in ways that we don't want to be hurt, twisted, or rubbed? i really don't think that its anything malicious... i don't think that people - especially family members - mean to hurt one another. its just that we, as human beings, can't help but to indulge our selfish natures, and in the process we hurt those around us. since family is most often around, they run the greatest risk of getting in the way. unfortunately, when that happens, when i get in the way, knowing that its not intentional only saves some of that hurt. :(